Would you like to know how to influence others in a way that is beneficial to you? It is so simple, you may question it’s effectiveness.

In Brian Tracy’s recent article on SuccessNet Magazine, The Key to Influencing Others, he shares a process of networking that focuses on the individual and not on the sale.

Its about building a relationship, finding ways to provide value to the other person and foster a desire for the prospect to truly want to reciprocate.

This is the method with which I have been building my SendOutCards business for almost 4 years now.  The results are tremendous.  SendOutCards is a competitive business here in Phoenix with one of the largest concentrations of distributors.  It simply comes down to building that relationship so that when they want or need the benefit I offer, they naturally think to come to me.

Photo by Valerie Everett

So you think that relationships are not an important part of your business or those you do business with.  That’s an interesting thought.

I’d like to share something that I learned today in a personal development seminar put on by One-Eleven Companies.

All of us have a unique method of communicating.  There are four basic methods although most of us are some combination of each.  These methods have often been related to colors, gems, animals and who knows what else.  Today I learned some very descriptive words for each of these categories; Considerate, Direct,  Spirited and Systematic.

The purpose of this post is not to go into complete details of each category.  There are plenty of books on the topic one good one being The Color Code by Dr. Taylor Hartman.  However, here is a rather brief description of each so we are all on the same page.

Considerate - This group of people tend to listen well, be supportive and strive to build trust.  They tend to avoid conflict, given in easily, don’t share their opinions and overly emphasize their feelings.

Direct - This group gets the bottom line, speaks forcefully, maintains eye contact and appears very confident.  However, they are usually poor listeners, impatient, arguementative and disregards advice.

Spirited - These individuals are persuasive, enjoy telling stories, focus on the big picture and use motivational speech often.  They do not hear details, tend to exaggerate, generalize and can be overdramatic.

Systematic - These individuals tend to focus on the facts, choose their speech carefully being sure to be efficient and precise and have a well organized work space.   They are too focused on details, fear personal disclosure, tend to be monotone and show little emotion.

Now you have a brief understanding of the four different ways people communicate.  Hopefully you can see that Both the Considerate and Spirited groups value relationships a great deal.  If you are looking to close a sale with one of these individuals, you are not likely to do so by getting to the point and asking for the close but are rather more likely to get the sale after showing them how you can be trusted and you care about them.  The old quote by Dale Carnegie is extremely appropriate with these two groups.  “They won’t care how much you know until they know how much you care!”

If you fall into either the Direct or Systematic approach, you may be hesitant to build relationships with prospects and clients because you fail to see the value in doing so.  You may be missing out on half your potential business due to this lack of insight.  By making an effort to understand someone else’s communication style and aiming to model it when communicating with them, you are likely to see a significant increase in business as a result.

Remember, even if relationships are not important to you, they may be important to the one with the checkbook.

Last week I returned from an eight day trip to Jamaica.  This was my fourth time visiting that country.  I love being there because of the beautiful weather, incredible scenery, crystal clear waters, but most importantly because of the people.

Jamaicans know how to live.  Most American’s think of Rastafarians (think Bob Marley, dreadlocks and marijuana) when they think of Jamaica, however Rastafarians make up only about 5% of the population of Jamaica.  It is interesting to note that the Guiness Book of World Records lists Jamaica as the country with the most churches per capita mile.

Because Jamaicans come from such a troubled background, they have come to have a very worry free lifestyle.  You can ask a Jamaican what time dinner will be and their answer will simply be, “Ya mon, no problem”.  When discussing the state of life in Jamaica their response is nothing more than, “It’s Irie”.  That means everything is peaceful and calm.  Considering the poor state of their economy, this is an amazing state of mind.

So what can we learn from all this?

Sometimes our worries aren’t worth worrying about.  Having that much concern isn’t going to change the way things are so why not just relax and enjoy life as life is presented to you, challenges and all.

Horse's Soul

I spent some time this weekend at a wonderful ranch in New River that houses horses rescued in the Premarin industry. Check out this You Tube video. I met Susan, the founder of Dreamchaser PMU Rescue at a Heartlink Networking meeting. She really amazed me with her dedication. When she shared that she always felt she was only asking for this or that and that we didn’t get anything back in return, I had to share with her that she was actually GIVING us an opportunity to do something good in the world. As a strong believer in the Law of Attraction, having the opportunity to do something good is more than most of us will ever get by putting down our money and getting some sort of goods or services in exchange.

So this weekend, I went out with my camera and spent some time photographing these wonderful animals. They were so sweet and friendly (and that donkey just doesn’t get that I’m not his personal head rest!) that it was hard to imagine that most of these animals had been couped up in pens for most of their lives.

If you have an opportunity and you see it in your heart to do something, Susan and Dreamchaser PMU Rescue could certainly use your support.

If this is not the right organization for you, talk to people while you are networking and see what organizations they are a part of and perhaps you’ll find one that it feels right to give back to.

My blog has been down for who knows how long and it was such a deal (internal server error) that I didn’t even want to think about what I would need to do to fix it.

So here I am on a pleasant Sunday (Easter) morning working on accounting (I know, incredibly boring but the boys are at their other parents so no egg hunts for us) reading some tweets. Thankfully, I happened to catch @Molly_Mac post that her blog was down. So I @’d her to say mine was too and was she on Word Press. She was in fact and had just sent an email to her host provider and got it instantly fixed! My site is also self hosted so I emailed my provider and whala, here it is again! Ya for twitter!